DISC GOLF EXPRESS
If the police pulled you over, what would you say to them?
1 – ‘Sorry. I didn’t se you there, standing in the middle of the road’
2 – ‘The tax disc is in the post. Probably in the same envelope as the driving license and MOT certificate’
3 – ‘Actually, now you mention it, it’s not my motor. It’s my mates…but I don’t know where he lives’
4 – ‘What are you doing, officer? Posing for a Pirelli photo shoot? Well, I hope you’re insured for the damage you’ve done to my front bumper!’
5 – ‘I don’t need road tax because this is officially registered as an aircraft. Check out those tail-fins’
6 – ‘Is that your five pound note on the pavement?’
7 – ‘I think you should know that I play golf with your chief constable’
8 – ‘Actually my chauffeur handles all the paperwork. If you insist on contacting him, he’s lecturing at an Amnesty International conference on ‘Police Powers vs Individual Freedom’
9 – ‘I think you should know that I am a Freemason’
10 – ‘Is that your American Express Gold card with a blank signature strip on the pavenment?’
As an officer I’d say the best answer is the truth. I had one person tell me they were speeding because he was late for work. He went on to say that because I pulled him over he was going to be even later and would have to make up for the lost time. Honesty pays off. I gave him a warning.
On the other hand, if you lie of make an excuse, it will probably end up with you signing a ticket. I stopped a lady for running a red light and she asked if she could get a warning. I explained to her the yellow light was her warning.
On another occasion I stopped a guy for speeding and he explained that he was wearing new boots and that his feet got stuck in the pedals. When I came back with the ticket for speeding, no insurance, expired inspection sticker, and expired plates he asked “I though I was just getting a ticket for speeding?” I explained “Sorry, my pen got stuck on the ticket.”
But on the humor side on a list of top ten things not to say to an officer I have always liked:
Officer: Your eyes look blood shot, have you been drinking?
Driver: Your eyes look glazed, have you been eating donuts?
Dreamcast Express Vol.4 Tokyo Game Show ‘99 Part 1
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